On heat.

by biltong101

HOT HOTYou’re probably pissed off when you’re freezing somewhere in Europe and your friends are posting on Facebook seminude pictures of their tanned bodies in exotic locations. They do it on purpose as well, there’s some perverse pleasure in it and to make it even worse we… I mean they add irritating descriptions to the pictures, something like “just a jog this morning” under a photo of them, the Ocean and thousand splendid suns to make you realize how much less fabulous your reality is. There’s one thing, however, that these pictures won’t tell you and that is the story of the Heat. The little secret is that just before the picture was taken a towel was used so that the smiley objects of widespread Facebook envy could get rid of the way-too-visible-sweat (which btw I’m sure at some point starts to be produced from flesh as WE DO NOT CONTAIN THAT MUCH WATER). You’re wet all the time, you take a shower and five minutes later you’re wet again, you drink and it seems that the water is being “sweaten off” before it gets anywhere near your stomach, let alone bladder. You can barely breathe because the air is too thick and the breathing when succesful doesn’t bring any refreshment. Sleeping becomes nearly impossible, you keep waking up every two hours (if you’re lucky) and the dreams you have are the weirdest ever. Worst of all, insects keep breeding mercilessly. I have this theory that with hot temperature conditions they just start dividing themselves and only stop to do so when the colder wave comes by. But hey, heat’s the time of the greatest discoveries! Thanks to the hot weather I’ve learnt that cockroaches can be successfully treated with a windscreen cleaning spray, vacuum cleaner and water. Hurray! I’m actually not that excited at all but keeping positive seems to be the only solution: if you try to complain to your compatriots they’re not too compassionate as they’re busy freezing at this time of the year and natives just say: It’s Africa, sweetheart (pol. Sorry, taki mamy klimat).