Onion & chives, salt & vinegar, black pepper & feta, white cheddar, butter. They’re weirdos in South Africa when it comes to popcorn. When I went to the cinema for the first time here they asked me what kind of salt I want (yes, non-South African reader, they give it to you in a sachet and you have to add it yourself!). I said that the salty one and they looked at me as if I was crazy. I’ve tried all the available tastes (ok, I’m lying, I haven’t mustered enough courage yet to try black pepper & feta) and I still think that the salty salt popcorn is the best. Besides, never in my life have I seen a person buying/ adding salt different than salty salt or butter salt to popcorn (I guess it’s just a part of the first world obsession with freedom of choice). The importance of popcorn in the movie watching experience cannot be overestimated. I judge people depending on their attitude towards popcorn and I don’t trust those who say they don’t like it. I also can’t understand why people choose to eat nachos or chips when they have popcorn available. Also, they’re louder than popcorn eaters and therefore sometimes irritate me. In the cinema popcorn should go with Coke and if it’s a movie night they both should go with a pizza. When it comes to popcorn there are rules and the rules have to be followed. Obey.